Girl, Salam Found His Power In Poetry & Community

In this engaging conversation, Dom and Salam The Poet explores the power of poetry and community. They celebrate the achievements of Salam the Poet, discuss the creative process behind writing poetry, and emphasize the importance of building a supportive community for artists. The dialogue is filled with humor, insights, and a shared passion for artistic expression right before he records a special for the television network Afro Studios.

Chapters

• 1:47 Celebrating Creativity and Poetry
• 4:43 The Art of Inspiration and Creation

Transcript

0:01

free audio post-production by Alphonic.com. Welcome to Girl, come sit with me. Today we have a special episode coming in. I am your host Dom, not only am I the host, I'm also a psychology professor and a host of other cool things. June is men's health month and I am honored to have just a sprinkle of a couple of guys to pop up on here. for this month for girl come sit with me, okay? So today we have Munch. Now Munch is special for a multitude of things. Munch is one of those people where he is just naturally in the cut and not just in the cut and not doing anything. He will be in the cut directing everything that's going on and you will have no idea. He's thinking about. Rights and not just as far as just the basic stuff like is everybody good? No, what's gonna help our people and this is how his brain naturally works that is the part that gets me so y'all Warm warm warm welcome to girl come sit with me. Hey much What up? I was gonna say some Detroit shit like what up? Hey, do you know I love people from Detroit? They're my favorite type of people man, they're cool. They be so cool with it, like even they swag. But now, yeah, yeah, yeah, you already knew I was gonna say it. I was trying not to be that person. yeah, you already know how it goes, okay? So I wanted to jump right into it. Now, remember when I told y'all Munch being the cut and he's that cool guy? If any of you have ever seen the episode of Powerpuff Girls back in the day, they used to have an episode, a villain and his name was him. The man didn't have a name. They just called him him. We only saw from here down of his face, but he was just pulling strings and connecting dots. So I'm trying to figure out what in the world got you to be such a... Voice for where people will listen. oh sorry, and to put some respect on his name. He is for the Miami day chapter of the NAACP. He is community chair. you know was the team captain most of the time on those teams you know saying what not And then from there other roles that I had when I was you know at the coach our son in the band you know means Okay, you know come you know we do is a battle thing you come first chair second chair know. No. But yeah, I think it was it came from, you know, just playing ball and just being the leader like people used to listen to, you know, I used to put my work in. So people just naturally listen to what I had to say. It was like, well, he the first in sprints. We see him working. You know what mean? We'll listen to him before we listen to this guy over here. You know what saying? Bucket and workout, different things like that. And it was this one moment in high school where the coaches didn't show up. Well, they were late to practice coming to practice and did usual because I guess they had a meeting or something was going on because know coaches are teachers. Yes, they had a meeting at school and they couldn't be to us on time. This was when I was playing JV at Central and I was like we gonna have we gonna have practice. Everybody wanted to go home. It was like 15 minutes coach ain't here man. We been declared man. We ain't having practice today and it was just one of those things like no we haven't practiced. And you know, everybody that was around me, was like, we gonna line up, we gonna have practice. And so everybody, you know, it was one of those things, like everybody just followed behind, you know. It was just weird, you get what I'm saying? Or take you back before that. So we was in practice one day and one guy was bucking. And he was the reason we had to do like thousand pushups that day. Yeah, it was this one dude, we cool, we cool. He was the reason, like he was kind of like. Not doing what he was supposed to do. So he was the reason we kept having to do like we had like a set like You know how it is. We almost we did almost a thousand push-ups that day because he was the reason He didn't he he didn't go full extension on one push-up or two push-ups and coach kept seeing it So like we gonna do some more because of this guy and I remember walking out and then I was like and I'm like a small guy at the time I'm like a buck fifty. I probably wouldn't even that you know And and the dude was like six two Like you know saying yeah, like 200 something pounds and I was like hey man and I walked out and I was like next time next time if he comes his locker room we got to these push-ups Hey y'all some suckers. We got it. We got to split him or something like I Walked out of course it was an issue because I unbeknownst to me He was related to some guys that was in there. They wanted to take up for him It was just me and my childhood friend, know saying my day one with me and I walked back up and I was like, look, y'all heard what I said? Like we all had to do a thousand pushups and your cousin is the reason we had to do it. either respect it or check it. Like we can fade by the, but they ain't gonna change what I said. Yeah. And I like, I meant what I said. And you know, people who know, who know me know like he crazy. He come back down. So, know, it started there and then it led up to that day. We had that practice that was like later on. like in the beginning of the season before the season started. And they ended up making me team captain. You know what I'm saying? After that situation, we had practice. So ever since then, I knew I had some type of leadership skills, some type of skill to kind of move people, you know what I'm saying, to an extent. But I never like really took advantage of it or, you know, I always took it serious. You know what saying? I didn't kind of like use my power to my advantage or anything like that. And it just translated, you know, whether it was. Me going to college, was like the quote unquote RA. So, cause we really didn't have like dorms or anything, but I worked out a situation with these, with this management company that is part of the complex that was foreclosing to give us prices at the, give us rates at the price floor. And we moved all the Florida cats that was coming in town. Yeah. So we, we just, I just worked like little different stuff. It's like, I know a whole influx of Florida guys gonna come, like maybe 10 to 20 each year. So I was like, nah, we gonna be in an apartment. And I pretty much just ran that whole thing, you know what saying? And people just trusted and respected it. And when I came home, same situation. I said my piece on certain things, certain things that I said came true. It was like, we just gonna listen to them. And it's just one thing led to another. know, people never know me for being a flaw. They always say, you know, Muncha always been solid. He never did no flaw shit. So, you know. And like I said, I just never took advantage of all we see the series like you say words everything So that's pretty much I guess for me. Wow. I think it came So for people who are trying to, especially for men, who for men are naturally put in leadership roles and men are naturally looked at as someone who's supposed to lead, whether it's a small group of people, whether it's simply their family, things like that. So would you say leadership and initiative goes hand in hand? Because in all those stories, it sounded like you took initiative. Yeah. Yeah, part of it is initiative. But part of it is like you to me is like, especially in the city, you know, city, you know, growing up in Liberty City, man, you had to your stripes. You know what I'm Me being like what I like to joke about and say I'm a first generation city boy because my mom's because of my dad from Jacksonville. I'm first generation. You know what saying? I had to earn like my name, my last name, everything I had to my space for. It was like, yeah, yeah, especially when folks got 10 cousins and all they siblings, I tell you, is me. Ain't nothing coming behind me but me. So anything I say, I had to back up. You know what I'm saying? I had to stand on, for lack of a better term. You know what I'm saying? It was like, it wasn't necessarily always about a fight. A lot of times it was like, nah, we gonna talk this out. You know, that was what was different. You know, so it is initiative. Learning, I learned respect from other men early. You know what saying? You didn't always have to fight to get that. And so I never really had to get in tussles a lot just to earn that respect. As long as said what I said, you can respectfully disagree, but I said what I You know what saying? Okay, so I am the mother of two boys. You already met one. And it's interesting because I understand that as a single woman, there's only so much I can do with raising my boys. I can teach them to be the men that I admire and to have certain skills or just be an overall great person. But I try to align it where they have men in their lives that they get to see. who are active, who show them like, hey, they can teach them certain things that I would not look at, or I may view differently as a woman, where a man may not be able to get away with certain things that a woman would be able to. Would there be anything you would suggest to me? And this is just me just really wanting another life. I know, but as a man, what do you think helps you or What are factors that your mom or variables or things I had to do with? How do I word this question? What are some things that your mom gave you or tools that your mother gave you to help you be the man you are today? Your mom specifically. Because I really want to make sure that I'm giving my kids the tools. I wouldn't even say my mom, I would say, I wouldn't go a step further, probably say my grandmother. Because earlier my grandmother, I was around her a lot. You know, she had a big influence on me. And so she would always say, like, do your best. That was her biggest thing. Do your best and give your best effort. You know what mean? That was the main thing that stuck with me like from the kid like, you know what saying? She died really early. I was like, hey, but that was one thing that always stuck with me, you know, with my mother. It was always like, and we're young boys with people discount is it's not so much which I'll tell us is what we see. So I saw my mom get up every day and work. You know what I'm saying? I didn't see, I didn't see her complain. I didn't see her, you know what I'm saying? Curse nobody. You know, stuff like that. You know, I ain't see that. You know, she talked bad about my old boy. You none of that crazy. You know what saying? So I never really saw that, you know, growing up. And that's what I can say at least about my mom. saying like always, we're always held it down. Like as much as, you know, we like to think that, you know, the man was holding it down and they was doing all this protecting and providing back then. It was like, A lot of women was a bad woman kid, but they just ain't boss about it. You know what saying? When you really think about it in context. So like my mom, she just always like held it down and she didn't really complain about it. So if it was, it wasn't so much about what she taught us, you know, if anything was like always be truthful, you know what I'm saying? the best, know what I'm saying? my grandma said, but it was more like what I saw. And that goes for like, Like me growing up, my parents didn't give me a lot of verbal guidance. It was always like, okay, go to school, you know what saying? Do the best you can. know I'm saying? Hard work pays off, those type of cliche things. The rest of it for me is like observing trial and error. So you're gonna hit some bumps in the road, but it's what you willing to do, what you not willing to do. Like I never was willing to really get in the street because I saw what... What can happen? can happen, you know, I different experiences that kind of like, you know, hang around certain people and you know, God bless like I was, I was just like, they would get me like, I'd have had, you know, the dope boy in the neighborhood come get me like, Hey, I don't care about what else going on over here. Hey, he got to get a body here. You know what saying? I want to sit there and paint with my dogs. And they like, Hey, he got a coat. He had a It was just observation. I just had to learn, like, no, that ain't the situation I want to be in. I like that I was listening to something and they were saying how, where was I? It was at Calvin's One Man Show. He might get a chance to go out and work on their name. And that was when heard it too. No. It was incredible. Incredible. So one of the things that he said, and it made me think about it, men aren't taught to be men when we really look at it. Sometimes they get to a certain age and it's just like, right, you're 18, you're a man now, going out there. Or, you graduated high school, you're a man now. This is what you aren't really taught it, but never done on me. You really taught it. I could I can say, you know, my dad spoke in riddles. I tell people all the time he spoke. He didn't really directly say things. I'm saying he didn't directly tell us about the life he lived so much. He got us some trouble early on. You know what I'm saying? So but he also he always instill like various, I would say values. saying but he he didn't the choice was yours ultimately and and like I say I tell you all the time I learned oh how to be a man from or from watching other men that I admire and respect and I think that's what happened with a lot of other guys who was just a different space we see guys in the street that we were admired and respected who took the time to kind of nurture us along a little bit you know yeah so like you know When your old boy ain't talking to you because he probably working all day and then you get off, you're tired too. You know what saying? Who the guys that's outside got time in their hands to really tell you, hey, don't do this. Don't do this. You know what I'm saying? So like, wasn't just like I can say in my particular situation, you know, growing up in the different spaces that I was in, you know, whether it was academic or extracurricular. or just at home, I had my old boy at home, don't get me wrong. I had family members, you know I'm saying? They did things and then I had that community, right? Growing up at the Coach Rye Center under Marshall Davis, he wore a suit every day, Coates. You know what I'm saying? Some of my teachers, Nana Blacknett, Bayunga, I can't never say his first name, like Kala Yuka or something like that, Bayunga, but who else? And then Darren Ferguson. So t-shirts and stuff like that the chocolate city, you know, it's history So like I grew up around then you go to Liberty City Outing which you talk about Sam Johnson You know Sam you go a lot of my coaches coach Pete coach Darrell Coach Mike, you know I'm saying I coach ice early. I had coach. Hope I had dr. Gallon around me early. You know, I grew up with a son So it's like when you got these guys around you at an early age You knew what you know, dr. Gallon was the youngest principal. Yeah, I think at that time in the history of Miami Dade County Public School This was the dude that failure wasn't option So when you grow like I'm running track and gallant's son is with us You know saying you and he's there with us and giving us speeches and telling us better your options. So that went around the entire community that didn't just hit Northwestern at that time. You feel me? Most people think, we're just saying no, no, it wasn't just it was beyond the West. It hit the whole city. Failure is not an option. So when you had those type people, like, like I say, Davis, you know, he wasn't a guy that was going to get loud and argue with something. Quiet. He gonna look at you. He gonna, Hey, I never seen this man really raise his voice. You feel me? I seen Sam Johnson, seen everybody, like Sam take care of everybody. So when you say, how did you get to this? I watched Sam run a whole. I was about say do it. I seen Arthur Till who passed away. They say he did some stuff. still don't. Release the tapes might be here. But you got Commissioner Arthur Till that I saw growing up. Like I said, Coach Darrell. Coach Darrell was a big influence. got my cousin Darrell Sharpner, was the chairman. At one point, he was the chairman of Jackson. Memorial Foundation, think health system stuff something something like that and he also was in charge of sharpening the Brunson accounting So that was like one of my first coaches and he told me just cuz you just cuz you family don't mean I won't cut you Hey, that's real. I appreciate that. So he was like the first like he was the one that first I could say coach coach shop Cousin Darrell shop was the first one to give me like notes on how to be a man outside of my own father He was the first one to like help and coach me alone nurturing alone That's right. So it's about those that are around you. And that's true, because the same thing goes for myself and a lot of people. It's about the examples that we see around us. And it makes it easier for us to be an example for others, even when we don't peep that we're an example for others. Yeah, I mean even when I got older, you know, I went through some things and it was people like I say this loud and clear Paul Lewis. I don't know if people many people know it used to be in Casey and the Sunshine Band. It was like 16 years old. So when I was doing a lot of different shows man Paul Lewis um Paul Lewis like when you talk about a businessman, we had multiple businesses. He took care of everybody, you know, and did right by everybody business wise and that was One of the things I always wanted to do, like, you know, you get in business sometimes, things happen. But he always showed me how to like, all right, if things happen, explain it, communicate and right the wrong. You know what mean? Like, you know what saying? Like, he'll hound you about getting paid. Like, here, he'll have a check for you. He'll be like, look man, I got this check for you. Most people, they just gonna be like, well, you got a check, you ain't answer. Yeah, it is what it is. He gonna run you down about it. You know what I'm saying? And just wanted to do right by people. You know I'm saying? You know, everybody in the world where everybody ain't like that, that was something I picked up and I was like, nah. That's true. And self-accountability is difficult for, especially if you aren't trained to be introspective. That self-accountability and that self-awareness, man, I think it's something that can be taught, but it's easier when you've seen examples. That and people scared to look in the mirror, Like many times throughout my life, I had to look at the mirror. There's many times that I didn't want to look in that mirror. be honest with you. And I mean that figuratively and like literally. I went through a period, especially at like my twenties, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. Like head down, brushing teeth type shit. You know what I'm saying? And when I was eight, when I started to be able to... Pick your head up, look yourself and say, hey, this is where we at. Now, if you want to go somewhere else, you got to look yourself in the mirror and get there. And like you say, self accountability, was hard, but it was like necessary. Even to the point where I'm at now, it was necessary. Everybody ain't built that way though. Like some people just want to blame everybody else, you know, but you can't grow, you can't progress if you keep, you know what saying, keep blaming everybody else. know, and I'm one of the people always been like, What am I doing wrong? That's me all day. What could I have done differently in this situation? Or how could I have avoided this? even how do I make sure that this doesn't happen again? What are the signs before what will happen for me to really be able to hone in and say, hmm, okay, that was a sign right there. Okay, this was another sign. So that way when it happens again, I know I don't want to go down that path. I was not feeling. my reactions or I knew I wanted to change this. So moving forward, makes a difference. My girl always says, she's like, you're always so contorted. You know what saying? I'm like, I don't. can see that though. I can see that. I literally like and she writes an extent. I'm always like Considerate of everybody and are patient. You know what saying? And I try to be but to be honest in the last Ten community and having to do it like here these in these issues that people deal with right? You have to have a heart of empathy Empathize with them not have sympathy for empathy for oh like okay this person might have had like based on the time that they grew up like black men that grew up during the 80s in Miami Dade County like McDuffie, like when you you fact all that and you wonder why they all hate the police the way they do like you feel me so they grew up in an era where police police been killing black men you know over town They live through their right. live through right now only the riots they do and people don't realize that the riots You know sidebar but the riots happened from that 1980 was the first one the big one that everybody Yeah, mcduffy, right? But people don't realize that we ride it Almost all the way through from 80 from 1980 to like 89 you feel me they had what 85 at least because they had We had the quiet riot which H.T. Smith and a lot of others, the black professionals pioneered later, which was like 89, I think it lasted from 89 to 92. But from 80 to like 85, the National Guard was here, was calling down to monitor the streets. I know they were called down, but I didn't know they stayed here. stayed here that long. people don't because we after McDuffie, it was multiple riots because things kept happening. You know what saying? Black men kept getting killed. You know, don't quote me on it. But I know Nathaniel LaFleur. I think that was before McDuffie. Neville Johnson was after McDuffie. And that happened in Overtown. You know what saying? Clement Lloyd, who I went to school with his son. High school with the sun that was in 89 and they was ready to tear shit up then you know what I'm You know, when you think about black men from that side that's been their disposition so when I'm in the line, what? I call the line I'm right at the food pantry I'm just saying for people here but at the food pantry I'm in the line and I wonder like and I hear these black men and they anger and they frustration And then they tell me when they was born, because I got to take their name and birthday just so we can have some data on them. I'm like, that's the error. You know what saying? That's the disposition. Wow. And can you tell them where the painting is? The pantry is on 43rd Street and 12th Avenue, 4300 Northwest 12th Avenue behind the church. I think it's called New Covenant Presbyterian. We're right there in the parking lot. And then how often do y'all do it? We feed people Monday through Saturday. Six days a week we got a three tier bag system so if you're on the street or you just want a bag for lunch you can get a sandwich bag if you're in a room or apartment and you don't necessarily cook or want to cook like that. Hey, we got a microwave bag that comes with microwave bill and the stuff that's in the sandwich bag and then Thursdays and Saturdays we do a grocery bag or food to cook at home which is Thursdays and Saturdays. So we have meat, have vegetables, little bit of everything in there so you can cook your own meal, you know what saying? Or multiple meals, you know what saying, depending on what we got available. But it was, know, in Village Fridge it was started by Blackwater. I gotta say that, Sherina Jones, so. By Sharena Jones? oh And it's still going. The pandemic was years ago. Yeah. Five years ago. Five years now. Yeah, exactly. That's incredible. Wait, you said you went to school with whose son? Clement Lloyd. Clement Lloyd was a dude that got killed by the police. Yeah, I think it was in Overtown, if I'm not mistaken. So sometimes we can hear these names and I tell my psychology students this as well. We'll learn about people, we'll hear their names, we'll read their stories, but it's different when you're able to humanize them and not just make it as something that you're reading in a textbook or something that you're able to just do a quick Google search on. Think about it. You saying that you went to school with his son just humanized him that much more. to remind people, yeah, okay, they say he's a dad, but no, someone knows their children. Someone had to be there for their children at that time. And it was crazy. I heard him talking in class one day because I didn't know about the situation, honest with you. And I heard him talking in class one day. think later on is when I think maybe like a year later, maybe two years later, I ran across like something talking about it. I talking about it in class. And I remember reaching out to him on social media. And I just heard about you, people. Because like I heard the story like his dad one day, like he said it in class, but it don't necessarily dawn on you. doesn't register. He was in clad like people was talking about how he had money or he came from money because of the lawsuit that resulted you know that came after his father's demise or death or whatever so it was like he they got some money or whatever but it was like that man lost a whole father. I'm saying. The money does not replace the person. And that's the part people forget with these lawsuits. The money does not replace the person. I give anything in the world, I ain't even finna hold you to hug my daddy again. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's crazy. I had a had a cousin. You what saying? Greg in Fort Pierce. He got killed by the police in Fort Pierce. And they gave that, I know if you heard the story, when they gave the family the settlement was for a dollar. Yeah, Fort Pierce. Greg, my cousin Greg, a dollar. Yeah, the city of Fort Pierce. settled and gave the family a dollar. Yeah. And I just think about his daughter. He was literally waiting for his daughter to get off, get out of school, which was right down the street. And he was playing some music loud, you know, neighborhood was getting gentrified and the neighbor called the police saying that another neighbor was playing some loud music. They pulled up to the house. He basically closed his garage door. You feel me? And they shot. at the door once he wants to start closing it. In his house, He didn't do nobody. In the closet you got to be inside Yeah, he closes and they shot into the garage and he blared out So yeah, I literally I'm probably seeing picture but I just went by the house like maybe earlier this year February I think no it wasn't February was it? Yeah, it was February because me and my girl went to Epcot Yeah, so It's February weekend like Valentine's Day weekend. I went by the house and the bullet holes stood up It was like three or four bullet holes. That was my first time going by there since that whole situation happened. I didn't go to the funeral or nothing. Yeah. And I just think about his daughter all the time. You know what I'm saying? Her coming home, she just thought she was going come home, house. Of course they got to, mind you, they didn't go in there. He bled out. So that mean it was a crime scene. They know they shot. They didn't even think that he was in there. They just thought it was a standout. They had helicopters swat everybody found it. It was a bad time It's just crazy. I just think about daughter getting off school just like she normally do House right there thinking I'm just gonna to out. Do you see you know saying that change? oh You know, it even changed my, you know, growing up around the police and everything. We was fighting at that time. You know, I was in community, you know, around the Trayvon Martin situation. I think that was, that was around that, not around that time. That was like a few years after. And yeah, that was a, that was a crazy time. Yeah, it really was. I remember I was still going to UCF undergrad with the Trayvon Martin situation. So the black student body convinced UCF to basically charter buses for us to go from Orlando to there. So we went there, UC Nationals. It's all like everybody's out there and we're marching. What you think about a U Drive, where we were, we had to drive right by where it happened. And none of us even knew him. I knew, you know, his family. I knew his mom was from Miami, things like that. But none of us even knew him personally. You can just feel the heaviness of it all and how it impacts everybody. Just how you said earlier, there's this positive impact going on where the men will, just with the men being around you and how that's a beautiful impact on you and how that had a positive. impact on you and your upbringing and you becoming a man. So you that goes to show how impact works. It can be positive or it can be negative. Yeah, I was unemployed when Trayvon, that whole trial. Once the trial hit, was like, no, we got to do something. If you know, like most days I'm in the hoodie and shades. You know what saying? I think the first time you met me, was in the hoodie know I'm saying? And shades. know, Trayvon actually, like I had a business partner in Miami Gardens and Trayvon used to be over that. You know, and I didn't, and when I seen this picture flashed, that's what made me be like, had to my business partner. Like, yo, there ain't just such and such things to be over there by your, you know, your old boy crib. He was like, yeah, fool, like two black guys come over there, play basketball, football. And it hit me like, you know, cause so many times throughout, you know, as a black man, you judged for any and everything. You know what I'm saying? I grew up in a whole bunch of academic spaces, you know, cause I was. quote unquote smart, you know what saying? But they want to change everything about you to conform to their way, you know what I'm saying? And it's hard trying to navigate that. I was having a conversation out there with them about that. As a black man, I just wanted to be me. There's no pun intended to be me, the organization who I'm a part of. I just wanted to be me. I wanted people to see me for me. Yeah, I'm from the hood, you know what saying? I ain't no street nigga, but you know, I come from a certain place I represent and you know, just, but I'm smart too. Don't look at me, don't look at me as less than, cause where we came from or whatever. that, and I always had that with me. You know, sometimes people say you need to let that go. They want you to dress a certain way, tuck your shirt in and all. I'm like, that's not me. And that was a struggle for the long-wish. They want you to cold switch. That's what it is. want you to cold switch. How to code switch, you know what saying? And I was like, I'm not switching. Cause I was like, Donald Trump wasn't a thing at the time. I forget what crack that was out there like that. But it was like, they ain't gotta do it. They can dress just like us do what we do and they can get away with it. Like that's them. They can get away with it. You can't. That's to be their defense. And I'm like, why? Why we gotta conform? Why they can't see us for us? They never gonna respect us. My whole perspective was they never gonna respect us for being us. always got to code switch or show some different side of ourselves. You know what I'm You just made me think of something. So you see how other cultures are able to mock us in a sense, or it's popularized when they do it, when they imitate us or emulate us or try to duplicate us. But think about it. They get to take it off anytime it gets too rough, anything like that. But in order for us to assimilate, in order for us to make it to certain places, like we have the cold switch. But in a sense, when we cold switch, we're also teaching them that we can take it on and off. I can turn it on and off. But no, this is who I am. I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of my language. I'm proud of who I am becoming because I'm still a work in progress. Why can't I just be me? Yeah, and I struggled with that so much. I struggled with that because I got left out of life. It was crazy. I was in a pre-college program. I ain't gonna name that because I ain't gonna be messy. And I remember it was so much like, it was, you know, so many different things that I didn't do or like I wanted to do, but because who I was, you know, I was the cool kid in that space because it was like. I can see that. I can see that. I played ball and I also had a certain GPA so I still qualified but it was just like they just picked on me. You know what saying? Like the adults in the situation. Instead of nurturing who I was, they wanted me to conform to something I wasn't. And growing up trying to navigate life, especially like trying to grow up and stuff like that, you start thinking like, dang, all right, when this shit, ain't working, when certain things ain't working for you, you start to believe like, maybe I should clean up, do this, do that. That identity shift Yeah, yeah, and and I was like, nah, I can't I can't do that Yeah, I'm saying like I when I left him with Arizona. It was like these people ain't they they love me for me and I'm with white folks all day y'all the ones be switching they don't respect what like I was in a space for the first time and I started to realize like But I don't respect when y'all niggas code switch anyway, but y'all think that that's what they like But they can see straight through that like they you know saying why don't you just be a set? They respect it cuz you yourself like they knew like like and we gotta see him for him like we may we you never gonna break down a stereotype and that was what that's why I wear my hoodie in my shades all the time you never gonna break down a stereotype like of a black man in the hoodie if young niggas never wearing hoodies in 100 degree weather like we look at the kids that's yeah we automatically assume that all the kids wearing hoodies and wearing hoodies and hiding their face is some shooters well what if Just what if all I'm saying kids and hoodies is depressed, that's why they hide. They just don't want anybody to see them. And that's a whole nother conversation right there. When you really look at it. And but how many how many of us how many of our own people judge them them kids wearing hoodies in 100 degree weather? That ain't no just no coincidence It's more like a phenomenon when you really think about it because how could every kid every black kid Well, not every black kid, but a good majority of the black men Right wearing hoodies and we in South Florida. It's 80 degrees on us on the It's hot is human on regular and you in a hoodie on the regular. Yeah, they go to school in the classroom cold, but come on You know I'm saying and I I've talked to a lot of you And kids be depressed social media as a mug. You know, I'm So that's a lot of person that we have to deal with You know I'm saying so they don't want to be seen cuz they don't want to get picked on They don't want to know they don't have this, they don't have that. But social media is just a false alarm and it's easy for us to say when it comes to social media like yeah that's just people's highlight reel that's all we see but if that's all you have to compare yourself to. Exactly. You gotta be just like that. you feel like now there's pressure because now I'm only making I'm a teenager I'm making minimum wage whatever minimum wage is in Florida and they have another friend who's like hey I just made $300 today in one day and the other kid's like I work minimum wage that's about 70 80 I don't know what minimum wage you know That's why these kids go to the route that they going. You wonder why they going to the street. Why they crashing out the way they crashing out. But it sounds like we have to start helping them, helping the youth understand, one, how not to give into pressure, but two, how to handle when you're feeling that pressure. Because sometimes they'll do a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Yeah and rationalize they thoughts you know saying him speak. Healing happens when we speak. Yeah, and I think, know, one of my other, it goes back to more people that I grew, men that I grew up around, right? DC Clark, right? Who's been a mentor to me, since high school. My adult life. We talk about, like, being in the community and stuff like that. He had him in the, he said, what's it, he had this concept of him and the brothers from IM. They had this concept. He was one of a lot of the dudes that, DC Clark was a firefighter who used his position as a firefighter to steal. professionals still do what he was doing in the community. So I'm saying yes with DCD they had this thing when they during a mentoring program. It's in nature. What's in your mind or consciousness was in society, right? And it helps you separate and decipher like what is your true nature? Like what who are you? You as a person like who am I as much like am I naturally a given person? Am I naturally a transparent, truthful person? You know what saying? Or I'm a person who going, you know, be untrustworthy, know, sliding on people doing stuff like that. And then what's in your mind? What's in your conscience? You what I'm And then what's in society? Like what's in the world? Like social media, all these different things. And once you start to decipher these things, then you start to rationalize these thoughts. But if you can't rationalize the thoughts that's coming to your mind, because you know, I go there, man. oh I have to rationalize like the how I'm feeling like if I'm Maybe by the year I don't have these thoughts like I used to but a year ago I said deal with depression I should deal with anxiety and like the way I deal with it is First is okay. Okay, you feel in this way identify the way you feel it. But why am I feeling this way? You get I'm saying Okay, what is making me feel this way? And so like even to this day, it's certain shows that give me anxiety. I'm just being honest. Certain type of gigs that I get just gives me anxiety. And I had to learn like, all right, you can either run away from them and not do them all together, or you can identify what it is and go through it. Because sometimes it ain't that bad as you think it is. But if you can't rationalize that. figure out what's triggering you. out what's triggering you, you know what I'm saying? Then you'll never get past it. And so I'm thankful. I've been in therapy like last, like maybe like two, three years, maybe longer. I've been in therapy for a minute. I I've been trying to actively deal with my mental health, like at least since like 2015, to be honest with you. That's beautiful. So like, yeah, I had some crazy shit going. I don't know if we got enough time. I dealt with, I went to Jacksonville and hell from when I was like, what, 21? You know I'm saying? And it fucked my whole world up. And I, you know, I tell the story simply because I know it's somebody else who done went through some shit. That's the thing about me. Like I'm always like, how about I tell you before, like, get a question, I'm open book. Every time you say that and I appreciate it. because man, when I sit up here, like I'm working with the drug treatment. And I said, they have come, I was on, I was down there in front of sisters over there on 17. It's right across, I'm sitting there talking to them. say, remember what building used to be here? How long y'all been over here sitting there? I say, y'all remember what building used to be here? Because Jackson Behavioral Health is right there. But behind that building was a building called Highland Pavilion. Highland Pavilion was the building that they had me in. I was in the asylum on the floor. Oh wow. So I tell people all the time like, and it was like, you're out here like talking to us dog like that mean a lot dog. And I just sat down like, man, cause somebody need to hear it. I I'm like, I'm out here. I'm chilling with y'all. I can sit down. I can chill with y'all. can talk to y'all. You know what saying? I mean, yeah, man, that was a traumatic experience. You know what I'm saying? I was on some, I used to think I was smoking nothing but a live pack. But that loud was laced with some some coke. You know I'm saying the second time I went this one I'll smoke no more second time I went that shit was laced with some fat fat no, so you know I'm Yeah, yeah, so and that was like years later. You know I mean, so I don't I don't You know I'm not gonna say I'm completely not smoking I be wanting to relax, but it kept me away because this is like You just never know. You just never know. But yeah, I've been through it. so a lot of times I talk to, you my way of getting over something is to, you know, live through it and talk about And that's the part that I appreciate about you, the fact that you are an open book and you're able to share because sometimes all it takes is for someone else to see themselves in you and see that you're past it. And it doesn't mean that you have to be some perfect human being or anything like that, but just being able to see yourself in someone, your reflection in someone and to say like, okay, they made it. Like I just recorded episode probably. This one will probably come out next week. And that was one of the things I talked about. Like, hey, y'all, I ain't gonna hold y'all. I'm struggling. And that was just the episode. Like, you're not gonna be OK all the time. And that's OK as long as you remind yourself that you can get through it. And as long as you're not trying to find permanent solutions for temporary issues, that's when you're able to really make it. So man, Munch, thank you for being here with me today. This is the most random episode. You can't use like you popped up and you see numbers. Hey, man, we still will do episode. Yes, I know. Yes, I have a podcast at one point in time. You know, I know how it is to put guests be in creative space anytime somebody asks me, you know, I'm just to do it just to show support. Yeah, no, I really appreciate the support y'all we're at cold space Which is where I record my podcast as soon as I saw him. I was like, you free or not So I cannot thank you enough. Y'all he's helped me in so many ways We're not going to go into all of them right now On the day where I was struggling so You So thank you so much. oh I will Listen I owe you one for this for real because this is like this episode was lit exactly which is why I wanted men on the podcast for this month specifically because It's one thing for okay. Yeah, you learn about mental health. Yeah, you learn about healing. That's nothing when you get to see other men who are real men who are upstanding men in the community who are also regular people who, you know, these incredible Black men, because we aren't a monolith. Yeah, we are and even to the ones who you know, we may look at this less than you know, they they are going through their thing. That's why like and I think we don't have I will say this I know for me I can't speak for all men and they circles and they clicks and whatnot, but I've always been somewhat of a loner. You know what mean? I'm social with a lot of different clicks of people, but I'm my own person. You know what a lone wolf. So so like shot of my people's up uptown, right? I hang with all them up there I hang with I got my island crew that I used to hang with a high school like I got different pockets of men and I hung around the clicks of people we hung around, know, they got my day ones whatever but I've always been myself, you know I'm saying and so That's a struggle in itself, you know like struggling to be yourself because a lot of time and then we don't have And I said it because we don't have those spaces to really have conversations early on. Like now certain spaces that I have certain groups of men and we have those spaces to talk. You know what saying? You know, speaking of roots, know, recipes to Danny. You know what saying? Long live Danny. Complete the mission. I'm saying so with Danny, Danny was one of the people that I could, I could pick up the phone with Danny and Zaybo. would sit a group text out and be like, I ain't feeling good today. You know what I'm saying? And Danny will pull up. You know what saying? And talk to me. be like, man, what's going on? What's good? You straight? I know. What's in your head? What books you reading now that got you all messed up? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? And that was rare. Coming from a situation when I was 21, I went through what I went through and it felt like shit. It nobody there. You know what mean? My day ones, you know, not the, we cool. You know, we talking about it now. But my day ones, they didn't have the, I guess you could say, emotional intelligence to understand or grasp what was going on. You know, because I was always the leader and lead them. So they was like, well, we don't even know what to do because he'd be, I ain't, he's straight. oh even the leader needs to be checked on. You gotta check on our strong friends. Yeah, and like I remember it was a process man when I got out I couldn't I had I lost them all motor skills I had to learn how to drive all over again. I had to learn how to Like you just be out, you know I'm saying like my stomach was messed up I was like throwing a fool left and right like it was bad when I went to Jackson up and got out It was bad. They drug me for like two weeks, man. I like I ain't get no outside. It was like being in prison, man yeah, no. So they had me on the floor. They said I was a flight risk. Because, yeah, they said I was a flight risk. They thought I jumped the barbed wire fence. I was like, y'all crazy. The only reason, I tell people all the time, the only reason I got out, because I stopped. And by the end of the week, I kind of ran the whole floor. Like if I said something, they'd And nobody's gonna do that. I'm saying, you know just with the food, you know, cuz I'm not gonna eat certain food like that big old block of egg or a big old block of cheese Give me the fruits and whatever else the plate y'all Bust down so I'm in there being diplomatic with the food. Yes and keeping peace with the food Who is he? Yeah, so, you know, yeah, and like I said, I just never had that space, know, until like Danny and I got Danny and not get me wrong, like we had space, we just, it wasn't as open. I was in a group before that called the art club. We had conversations about different things, but it wasn't an open dialogue. was like, ah, you can say your shit one time, but hey, we gonna make this thing like. And that's needed. Even with there's this challenge where men are calling their homeboys and telling their homeboys good night, right? They only tell them good, hey bro, I'm about to lay down. I just wanted to tell you good night. The men's natural reactions is, hey bro, this is sus. What is wrong with you? All this stuff. But what if your homeboy really just like, hey man, I know you was having a rough day. I just wanted to check on you before I went to sleep. You feel me? Like. me. Because sometimes that is needed for everybody. real need it is at the same time that go back to we ain't used to showing that type of we just not used to that and so it takes some time especially people like I said like it used to be like that like if I had when it came to Danny is able I could say I put in the group text like I ain't feeling good like it's a video of Danny before he passed like I had one of them days and it was like, I'm finna go get munch. No. Going to this actual event that night. So he was like, nah, I'm coming to get you. Cause I know you're going to be pooped up in here cause you don't, you know what saying? So it was just like, you know what I mean? He would always come get me. know what I'm I'd be in the hood like at as fuck. He would just come get me like, come to my crib. You gonna be with me tonight. We gonna go out or we gonna stay in, but you will be with me. Like, you know what I'm And so, you know, You know, you take those things for granted. know what I'm Not to say I took it absolutely for granted when he was here, but you you miss it a lot. You miss it a lot when it's no longer there. It's no longer there, you know what saying? But that's why everybody's always saying complete the mission. Yeah. Because now y'all, which is what y'all are already doing, I really want to commend y'all on that. When I tell you y'all are actually moving it forward and paying it forward in the community, it's a beautiful thing to witness. But I know we're at time. But thank you so much. I'm going to end it because I got to pick up my jet at 6 o'clock and it's 5.56. man, make sure you get fined Hey! I know if you can hear me, but I don't know how far you... I ain't gonna make it. I'm finna call the band I'm with right now like, hey, I'm on my way. It's the weather. They ask, it's the weather. I'm so sorry. Okay. But Munch, for real, I appreciate you. For real. So thank you. Thank you all. If you are still locked in with us, which I'm pretty sure you are, thank you so much for tuning in. Staying locked in with Munch and I today. Please feel free to check out another episode of Girl, come sit with me. Later. free audio post-production.