Girl, It's Okay To Not Be Okay

In this episode, Dom opens up about her current struggles with vulnerability, grief, and betrayal. She shares her raw emotions and the challenges of navigating through pain while still trying to show up for herself and others. The conversation emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one's feelings, the impact of loss, and the journey of healing, highlighting that it's okay to not be okay. Dom also reflects on the significance of hope and the little things that keep her going during tough times.

Transcript

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Hi, welcome to another episode of Pearl. Come sit with me. Y'all, I am live here at the Poetry Potluck in Haiti Cultural Center. Y'all spend a vibe this entire day. If you're new to this, I am your host Dom. Yes, I host this podcast, but I'm also a psych professor this space is here for us to understand the power of vulnerability. So let's get into it with my special guest. May you introduce yourself. Yes, I go by the name of Stevenson. Hi, Stevenson. So how can the people find you? You can find me on Instagram at Stevenson Jean underscore or underscore was so late underscore, which is was so late. My artist name. um Yeah, I do music as well. So, yeah. So you just gonna keep adding to the greatness. Acting, modeling, active modeling, music. You sing or you rap? I'm singing. I'm more of a singer than a rapper. say that. And I see. Okay. I can do that. Well, today, while we're here, my main focus today is based on community, right? Yes. So what is giving you a sense of community moving here in Miami? When I'm here in Miami, think coming to events like this and just feeling the presence of Blackness, just the beauty of Blackness and seeing how we come together. Yeah, I think that's the for me, that's what community is, you know, just having different people that we can rely on, know, people that look like us, that's creating different things that we can get involved in. Yeah, this is my first time being here, but I'm definitely gonna be back for sure. I'm glad you came. So many things going on. uh You are now tuned in to Girl, come sit. Why does my whisper sound so... Let's, you know what? How about we cut it? Let's cut it. then like after, we can do it, we'll do the interview. Yes, okay. So don't go. We'll be back. You know, that was the first take. That was the warm up. right now we're whispering. are whispering. Y'all right now, just a whisper. Cause the event just started, you know. And we're just hoping that this whisper will work. But this is what it is, you know, this is live. You guys are getting the live reactions right now. Exactly. At least you know what really happens behind the scenes. Yes, it's natural, you know. Hey, what if they could hear this the best compared to what we recorded? That is a great That would be insane in post-op. So as we focus on communities, especially at events like right now at the Poetry Potluck Yes. you were saying how just to be around people who look like you, you know, just being around others where we can see ourselves in them. Yeah. Or at least see ourselves in their potential or sometimes even who they are. Yeah, that's what I like when you say that. That was great. But you know, in order for us to a good community, we have to make sure we're able to be a good member of that community. So what are things that you feel as though you give personally as a friend or as someone in a relationship or as someone in all these different classes of your life? How do you exemplify the community that you want? I think I do that by the art that I create. Okay. You know, so the art that I create in modeling, the art that I create in film, and even in music as well, just making sure that it's eccentric. and making sure that it's rooted into, that it's purposeful, know, that it's purposeful and like people can get inspired by it. yeah, and also just like creating different things that people are able to have conversations about. Yeah, that's Yeah, because especially nowadays, like I feel like... A lot of people are creating but they're not creating for a purpose. know? And I feel like with me, even with modeling as well, like at first it was just doing it just for fun. But then I started to realize like, what if I create something and just drop it on Juneteenth, for example? You know, just like drop it for us. Because it's when it's for us and it's by us. And even like the roles that I pick when it comes to acting. It has to mean something to me. has to speak to me in a way. It has to speak to me as a black man and as a creative in general. you feel something. Yeah, yeah. So the way that I've been able to serve and to be part of different communities is by sharing my art and just creating the different conversations through the art. That's impactful because so... Transparency moment, right? Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. There's no filter here. Okay. Okay. So transparency moment. I have always been very creative, naturally very creative. Let's go. And when I was younger, I started to approach elementary school. Nice. And I just stuck with it. So you was born a poet. was pretty much born a poet. I used to make my granny sit there and listen to me. Wow. Read her my poems that I wrote. That's Or recite random poems. I used to like Langston Hughes. Like, well son, you know, like, hey, I am a darker brother. Do you hear this? I'm like, look, wow, look at this, this is amazing. So I stopped and I haven't been on a stage in about 12 years. And I just got back on stage a week ago and I didn't have the poem memorized because I had just wrote it. And I was like, you know what, I'm just going to get it off. does it feel? How was that? After 12 years? I was nervous. I would always turn people down when they asked me to share. Mind you, I got a whole portrait book and everything. I don't tell nobody nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're a poet. And you're creative in general. So you're always creative. Exactly. even though when you don't share it with the world. Yeah, but you sharing it with yourself and like, just stand. I'm not sure if I'm... No, you're getting it right. You're hitting the nail So I'm sure like you're still writing and you still, you know, you still... I never stopped writing. I just never shared it. Poetry has always been, well not write anything, it has always been like my diary. performing it and trying to remember the words and, you know, allowing myself to get to that place of where I was even though I'm no longer there. Even if it's been 10 minutes later. I may write something in a moment of passion where I'm just, maybe I'm flustered. Maybe I'm feeling heart palpitations. But I know if I start writing, I just let whatever words come to me flow out. I know I'm going to feel better. So I would just do that. And then five minutes later, once anxiety is passed, everything I wrote is passed, I'm good. It's more of a release in a way. Yes, exactly. And it's funny because I'm a psychology professor. Everything has to do with mental health. Everything. It's essential. Mental health is definitely essential for sure. is. Actually, I just did a film about that in Haiti. Come on, IOT. Yeah, just did a film about that mental health. try to tap into mental health and depression and different things that I feel like a lot of us are not talking about when it comes to in the black community and in the Caribbean community, just in general. I feel like these are, different battles that we're fighting just alone, I feel like the more of us that talk about it, the more of us that will be able to be more open about it. Exactly. Yeah, and really seek help in that. and go to therapy. Yeah, especially like the stigma of a black man that's not going to therapy and you know, that's a... Speak on it. Yeah, we always feel the need to be just extra masculine and like, you know, we can't cry and like all these different things. like you don't feel all the emotions that women feel. Yeah, yeah. go through all of us as a people go through all these emotions. Yeah, But sometimes one group of us is... kind of regarded as okay, it's okay to do that. But just like you said, like why do I have to be this hyper masculine guy? Yeah. Why do I have to, for what? For me, just growing up, like I kind of fell into that, you know, it's like growing up, just felt the need to, you know, like you do different things, like what's this like into music, you know, listening to rap all the time and like, you the need to just always be like this hard. Then you realize like as you grow up, start dealing with different things where life hits you and then you don't know how to deal with it. So now I feel like that the kind of, it's kind of the reason why I feel like we have a lot of like black on black violence in a way. It's like a lot of black men being insecure, know, go ahead and check that little coconut real quick. Go ahead and take a sip of that. I was like, oh, he talking great talk right now. Sometimes when the talk is good, you just got to sip on the coconut. You feel me? It's only right. It's only right. You feel me? Get that natural water in. know? that. Coconut water is way healthier than regular water. I just learned that recently. But you know, there is a limit to it. Is that how there is a limit to everything? For everything, for sure. There's a limit to that too because you can get messed up with the potassium. Yeah, definitely. I had no idea. I finally, I used to always, I didn't like coconuts. Random story. Always felt like I didn't like coconuts. I don't know, why are we drinking out of this try and thing as a kid? I was like, I don't like this, I'm allergic. So what I started doing was I would fake it be like, so yummy. I wasn't drinking none of it, So fast forward to the point of this story. I did that and... Never taste it, always hope you like it. Fast forward maybe two months ago, I tried the dog on coconut water. Touched my soul and I went on a binge of drinking it every day. Wow. For weeks. To a point where my mom was like, hey. Don't make me have to go check your potassium levels. You gotta slow down. You gotta slow down. Yes. Too much of everything is never, it's never crazy. Exactly. So then I had to call my dietician. So I was like, Ash, that's the one who owns the nonprofit EatWell Exchange. my goodness. I to her. That's your sister? Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Wow. It's a small world. I thought you guys just met. Oh no. Wow, that's dope. Yeah. That's so dope, man. And I had to call her and I like, hey, my mom said this is too much for her. She's like, technically your mom is right. There is a limit to it. You can drink it every day. Just not a gallon of it every day. And then once I try something and I love it, that's it. oh Yeah, I'll probably do it until I gorge myself out for a while and then I'll chill. That's crazy. Do you have a food that's like that for you? I Haitian food. Oh my goodness. Yes. Give me. Can we talk about it? Like come on. Come on. You know, like do you like Haitian food? I am The reaction. see. From the reaction you had, like I already know. Yes. Listen. like, my goodness. So my papa, well, my grandfather, he is Bahamian and Haitian. Wow. Nice. Yes. So. All of that culture just kind of trickled down to like all of us. So it's beautiful because you have all this culture and you feel like you belong. But I didn't even know that I was Haitian until elementary school. Didn't even realize. So and it was when I moved to Broward. So you know how Broward is a little different from Miami? No offense. We love. all themselves to different spots. It's a little different. definitely different. So we ended up moving to Myanmar and I started going to school. Well, you you use the fake address or whatever. So you go to school in the other county. I did it too. I don't feel bad now. So I did that. Ended up going there and I noticed it's like white people in the class and it was black kids but some of the black kids were picking on the other ones for being dark. Y'all this is the lightest I've ever been in my life. The lightest colors can ever be. As a little girl I was probably like the color of your paintings. and I loved it, little chocolate I get there they're picking on you know the dark skinned girls and I was like okay. This is different. And then I was like, wait now, some girls in the class who started, I heard her parents speak and they were speaking Creole. And I was like, cause I would never hear like thing or back then it was you get picked on in Haitian. You get picked on. Yeah. Even like just like they used to have like field day where they would like, you know, be Haitians on some day. Exactly. And you see, used to be. things like that at other schools too. It's almost like it was crazy. It was crazy. And I didn't even realize I was Asian because you you grow up, you eat these foods, you hear these accents, you pick up on some of these accents whether you want to or not. And you're so engulfed into it, you don't even think and if everyone in the neighborhood is like that. I was in North Miami. Zo-C! It was in Port-au-Prince too. It was in Haiti for sure. That's what I'm saying. You're going to be in these areas and when everyone looks like you, they're educated, everybody got a different accent. You don't think anything. You go to a different spot and you're like, I never hear anything over here. And then finally I was like, hey, you're Haitian. Right, right. These are my people. Yeah, I was like, these are my people. And she was like, yeah, we're Haitian. Are you Haitian? And I was like, No, but my people sound like your people. And it was like, so you hasten. You hasten, right, right. She probably ain't one Am I hastening? Yeah, and I was like, do I hasten? yeah. Because a of people were like, they were ashamed of her, know what mean? Now see, yes. my papa, he was the first black president at a bank in Miami. Oh, yes. And it was a point in time where technically it's still like that to this day, but we sold some of the properties. Yeah. But in the city, It used to be like a block where was nothing but door sets on the whole block. When I tell you, it was like that, but you know, back then you don't get, it's already tough being a black man. It's already tough, you know? So imagine during that time, you're way back then that nobody wants to be called anything but black But when you get called black, you're still getting treated like crap Yeah, right. So imagine getting discriminated against because you're Haitian and black as well. Exactly. It's a double whammy, unfortunately. Double discrimination. So at that time, they say, oh, nothing. They don't say we from Haiti, we just keep eating, but we sure keep eating the food. Yeah. You know, it's not until my generation where it's like, hey, y'all, we haitian for real? Say less. What part of it? Oh, God. wait, we from Haiti, too? What part? Yeah. OK. OK. You know. You know, we get to now, everyone want to be, everyone's listening to Kwon Pa right now. Everyone's hitting, hate your food. TikTok, compas going crazy. know, everybody would have been Azora. I went to, exactly, I went to a bar and you probably gonna know as soon as I had said it. So they play one song, all I heard is, oh, oh, oh. And I'm Exactly, that's how that is. As soon as it drops. Imagine. Having such a rich history, right? Yeah. Just how proud I was to say about my papa. Yeah. And how his brother was one of the black psychology professors at FIU. Wow. When they started I actually went to FIU as well. See what? Yeah, Small world, small world. Wait, how did you like it? It was nice. It was dope. I actually studied like, I studied like hospitality there. Okay. Yeah, so. That's suiting for you. Yeah. Maybe that's why you're here. You know? Yeah. Okay, you what I mean, in a way, I wish I was like majoring in theater, like film, you know, just like growing up in the Caribbean household, know, like, my not a real job? That's not a career to them? No, to them it's more of a, it's like, okay, what are you doing? You a vagabond, you know what mean? Hey, when they say vagabond, you like, oh no, this is, I'm sorry. doing like you're acting, wanna be an actor? What you wanna do? Are you doing music now? You think this is all like I sent you to school for it and I'm like yo you don't get it. I don't wanna be like you looking at Denzel, you looking at you know the great actors. And you like them. They got pictures on the wall and you're like you can't see someone that came from you finna be right on that wall beside them. Right, you know what I mean? So it's like for me it took a minute for them to like realized what I really wanted to do, you know, because at first he used to be like, you know, for them, it was like, okay, you're not you're not you're not gonna be no actor, like you're gonna go to school and be a doctor and be a lawyer. And then I came home and I was like, turn the TV on real quick. They see me in a Marvel show. Then this is when they're like, oh, wow, know, you're on their level. Like, bet you that you were gonna be a great actor. And then you're like, is That's not what you said. Because when I told you, you was fussing. Right, right. It's like, OK, yeah, sure. You know what I mean? Like, you was the main one that's telling me, like, I got to be a lawyer. I got to be an engineer. But now, because you seen me in the Marvel show, you know, it makes you realize, like, That's my son. Right? Like, our parents, they're biggest haters. Hey, they're going tell you almost too much of the truth. Hey, what? Yo, they're going you feel me? Yeah, I know. But now, like, they see the vision. You know, they definitely see the vision and they're, they definitely, you know, supporting this full hand, you know, and they, they proud. I'm the first one in my family to accomplish like these things that I'm accomplishing now. That's beautiful. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. All it takes, you know, something that I like about being the first, you know, there has to be others behind you. You already know the other numbers are going to come. You're opening doors, you know, generational purses, you know. Yeah. That's impactful. Yeah, indeed. That's real though. I love that. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I know Heavy, what is it? Heavy is the deal. Heavy is the crown. Heavy is the head, they the crown. I know that aspect of it, but I'm glad that it seems as though you listen to it. and you don't resent it. For sure. It's tough. And you focus on the goodness. It's tough. But of course, you know, just being the first one to break certain generational curses like in your family and just being the first one that attack to reach a certain level. I feel like, you know, you're going to face different obstacles that others haven't faced before. You know, a lot of people won't understand the journey that you're on. But you have to see the vision for you to accomplish what you wanna accomplish. If you can see it, then nobody else can see it for you. So that's how I look at it. So I was able to get to where I am now. I that. That's dope. So do you feel like on your end, you know your parents are proud of you now and you think that, do you think... that there's a way for all of us to get to a point where you see how you made your parents proud. You probably make a hole, you probably inspire other people. But what if those that you inspire accomplish the same thing as you? Imagine the legacy of that. Yeah, this as a whole, this as a culture, as a, know, it's just, I mean, for me, that's one of my goals, to be honest. It's one of my goals for us to get more into the arts. Get more into the arts. I feel like the arts, there's a level of freedom that we have with the arts. There's a level of freedom that we have with the arts that we don't have with any other careers, really. Because as an artist, could, once you're creating, you have the freedom to, whether it's film or whether it's music or whether it's just painting or whether it's psychology. You know, like this is art as well. A lot of people don't see it as that. But for you, you're an artist as well. You know, like a lot of I feel like a lot of people mention like the word artist. They always say uh they always like then we see musicians as artists. You know, like, hey, y'all don't. OK, feel like the chef is an artist. The chef is creating something like everything is masterpiece. You know what mean? Like everything is art. Yeah. Yeah. What we're doing right now, that's art. That's art. But this is just another form of art form you know so yeah so I think for me like more of us more Caribbean folks more Haitians and more just more of us is like getting into the arts and being able to express ourselves the best way that we can you know even if someone is a doctor like that's form of art a surgery is is an art you know because we're saving lives Exactly and trying to figure out, sorry about that, trying to figure out all the diagnosis and all that. Yeah, yeah. So I feel like once we start seeing that, once we start tapping into that and realize like, you know, like with art we can like really heal and we can really change lives. We really can. And for me, more doors will be open for us and the world will see us the way we're supposed to be seen. that are and also for us to be able to be appreciative even if the world can't see is how we should be seen. Yes. We might have to come back for another episode, You will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we might have to do that for sure. I'm down to go. Like, I'm full of the podcasting. I would love it. there's much for us to cover and talk about. I think so. And I don't, I record right in Miami Gardens at CoSpace it's black on. Oh, beautiful. Even better. It's black on. And it's black on. Shout out to Joy. We love y'all. Yes, absolutely. That's why I record. It's a vibe. You never know who you're going to see in there, fair warning. It may be politicians. maybe artists, maybe doctors, lawyers. You think of it, well you can name it. They've probably been, yes. I know one day, the mom, the mom from that show, on great faces with trash bin, Harriet Winslow from Family Matters. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I to met her at Flow Mo. What? Yeah, I met her at Flow Mo. She came, she spoke to us, like the drama program. that's impactful. They don't remember that for the rest of their lives. Facts, facts, definitely. That's real. Okay, okay. Yes. You never know you're going to see there, but it gives privacy, which is great. And they have a whole podcast. Beautiful. We definitely finished this conversation. Yes. Have a part two. We definitely have to have a part two, Yeah, because there's so much, like there's so many things that have like so many layers that we can cover, you know? I like that and I also, yeah. And that's another reason why. Oh my goodness, that. But yes, that would be dope. Part two coming soon. you for tuning in to Girl. Come sit with me.