Girl, Let's Reflect: Lessons, Growth, and What’s Next

Girl, Let's Reflect: Lessons, Growth, and What's Next

In this powerful season finale, we reflect on the amazing journey we've taken together this year. From personal growth to building meaningful relationships, we dive into the lessons learned and the transformations that have shaped us. We’ll also explore the powerful experiences from Art Basel, the connections made, and how they’ve inspired the upcoming season. As we wrap up Season 1, get ready for a sneak peek into what’s to come in Season 2—featuring incredible guest interviews and new topics to inspire, empower, and elevate you. Don't miss this heartfelt and motivational episode as we set the stage for even more growth and healing in the next chapter.

Tune in now and join us for this exciting journey ahead!

Transcript

Dom Nicole (00:00)
Hey girl, welcome to the final episode of season one of Girl Come Sit With Me. Can you believe this is episode 10? I mean, we are really ending our first season. The way this season has helped me through my journey of self-discovery has truly been nothing short of amazing. Now in this episode, we're gonna be diving into some incredible moments from Art Basel, the lessons I've learned this year.

and how we're gearing up for an even better season two. And trust and believe I got some holiday and million words for you too. I know it's the end of the year. It's about that time. Let's face it, our season is now. So this season, y'all had the opportunity to get to know me as I navigated this self-discovery journey. And I must admit, we did become pretty cool in the process. Now, as far as next season,

I'll be bringing on some incredible guests, diving into powerful conversations and breaking down what it means to truly glow up. And if you want to be a guest, then girl, DM me on Instagram at girl comes sit with me or email me at thedomshowatoutlook.com. So you can come sit with me.

So of course I had to start this episode off with Art Basel because I mean, it's Art Basel. Now, it is not what it used to be when I was younger, where it was a small event filled with local artists. Now Art Basel has become this huge phenomena where artists from all around the world come to Miami and pretty much take over the city.

I mean, from every which of way, okay? And Art Basel reminded me that just like artists pour themselves into their work, we have the power to create and recreate ourselves. So this year, I had the privilege of attending several black led events at Art Basel for Miami Art Week. And it was nothing short of magical. From the breathtaking art to the sense of community.

It was a celebration of creativity, resilience, and culture, really.

Miami is broken up into different sub cities. For those of you who don't know, Miami is huge. Now one of the cities in Miami called Opalaka had several beautiful installments through their downtown area.

My favorite was the Tales of Opalaka, a heritage journey which pretty much walked us through the history of Opalaka and they had it at the historic train station in Opalaka. So I grew up in a, I grew up in a very small church in Opalaka that my granny who lived to be 90, I might add, and my parents attended. We used to pass by this giant castle looking building, y'all.

The building is huge. It looks like a castle from, almost like an Arabian castle from a fairy tale. And I would pass by this giant castle that was not too far from my Aunt Jackie and my Uncle Ken's house. And every time I passed by this castle, y'all, I promised y'all I felt like a princess. Every single time.

But little did I know that that castle used to be Opa-Laka City Hall. It's still there to this day. It's being rented because it's like 100 years old. But when I think of Opa-Laka, beautiful memories flood me, like my granny receiving a proclamation from the city, or my mom's constant humanitarian work there, or playing in the triangle. If you know, you know, okay? Dancing in the back blues, visiting family in the Aswan.

So, my goodness, so many memories. Like, that particular art exhibit left me feeling full. Have you ever attended an event that was just like something that completely filled your soul? If not, if you haven't had the opportunity to have that experience, please make that a goal for you for the new year because it's just an unforgettable moment.

And that wasn't the only installment that I went to when I went to Opalaka's art.

extravaganza, that was not the only one. So they did have, they also had an African and a Jamaican gallery as well. Now the Jamaica experience, I must admit, it caught me off guard with its authenticity. I am not Jamaican, but some of my favorite people are. And it was clearly created by Jamaicans for Jamaicans. The artists expressed their longing for people to understand their culture beyond the Yamans and the Wagans, right?

It reminded me of how, as Black people were forever imitated, and we start the trends but don't always get the credit, or they deviate from the original, authentic artistry and they try to mimic it, but as they mimic it, they take the soul out of it. It reminded me how important it is for all of us to truly embrace our cultures and share them authentically.

Think of something that's a part of your story or your heritage that you love for the world to understand better.

And you know what, right now I'm going challenge you to share that. Don't just hold it to yourself, it. Whether it's with someone that you meet down the street or on your social media.

And that was just the beginning of my Art Basel journey. So Chad, don't get me started with Lyle Week in Miami Gardens. When I tell y'all a time was had, they had events all week and I went to their Roots and Revival event, but I should call it an extravaganza because Co Space and Lyle did their big one. Okay? The way it fueled my spirit was just unmatched.

There was food, jewelry, candles, books made by us for us, poets, painters, drawers, photographers, and the list just goes on and on. And not to mention, it seemed as though all of us, even though it was so many people there, it felt like all of us were our own vibe.

And that alone is powerful.

And I'm a foodie y'all, so I gotta tell y'all about the food, okay? The food was bomb. They had Popo Seafood, and from them I had their fried kunk and fries. Y'all, I love some fried kunk, especially if it's done right. Then they had Top 10 in Cuisine, and four these tasty, and four of these tasty sweets and treats. Y'all, my gosh, it had me in a chokehold. They took over Miami Garden City Hall.

and they walked us through an artsy journey of Black artists and businesses. The poets were handpicked by the Poetry Puddle Up. Now, most of you have already heard of them, but for those who haven't, let's just say I have yet to hear a poet that didn't hit by poets that were picked by Poetry Puddle Up. When I tell you they always understand the assignment and then some,

And that's what I mean, okay? Now, some of the artists there, I'm big on paintings and photography. I'm a very visual person. Yeah, technically all of my senses are rather strong, but I'm a very visual person. So some of the artists were, Unearth Soul Lab, my gosh.

who sucks you in with her blends of color and emphasis on details. Like if you're looking for breathtaking work, check out unearth soul lab on Instagram. It's truly something special. You won't regret it. Visa by V was there as well. And with her pieces, she pretty much makes everyone that she paints come to life in a very vibrant way. Then they had

KPT, then they had KP Takeover, who is the artist to some of my favorite jean designs, y'all. If you wanna stand out in the crowd and have a look that no one else is going to have, that's who you need to check out. Then, who else did they have? they had Holly for Bees Art, whose pieces are going to, whose pieces are,

And I can't forget Holly for B's art, whose pieces are going to boost your confidence. When I see her work, I automatically feel empowered. Her work reminds you of when you're looking in the mirror and you're reading an affirmation. That's what her work reminds me of.

Dom Nicole (09:57)
And there was an artist from Philly there who I wish, y'all, when his name pops into my mind before I finish recording this, I have to share it with you because he does these realistic depictions of culture. And I love the way he captures how there can be an array of scenarios happening in one scene of our life. It's almost as if he screenshots a moment in time.

of people being outside, whether they're parlaying, whether they're going to an event, whatever the case may be. And he finds a way to paint and capture all of the details and make you feel every single work of art. I'm literally looking, actually as I'm doing this, I'm looking at one of his pieces now. He's from Philly, by the way. So when I had a chance to talk to him, his Philly dialect was pretty dope, okay?

Now I'm looking at one of his paintings right now as I record this and you literally can feel The guy's energy as he's hanging out the car window Trying to talk to some beautiful women and you can feel how one of may be interested or how the other one the other young lady may not be interested so she like Keep walking you can feel Every aspect of

the scenes that he's depicting. and y'all, I'm patiently waiting for my drawing, my caricature that I'm waiting for of me by photos of Molo. So he does it right there. But he so many people. I was like, don't even worry about it. You can do mine at a later date. That is perfectly fine with me. Just send it to me when you're done, because his work is really, really cool.

And at Roots and Revival, they have my favorite installment, which is the five minute podcast by CoSpace Anyone can sit and record a five minute podcast of themselves or with someone they choose. And they get to say their episode was engineered by the Gill. When I tell y'all I had the opportunity to be the guest on the owner of Top Notch Eyewear's podcast.

And I did an episode with the founder and CEO of Black Professionals Network and my friend, Kenasha. Now, Joy coined the 5-Minute Podcast and every time Co Space does it, it almost makes me want to get on camera. It makes me feel like I am a star.

It almost makes me want to get in front of the camera more often. Y'all, you can have everything going on in the background. Think about it. We were at Roots and Revival. That was a huge event in Miami Gardens. Okay, it was a huge event. So think about it. We had the speakers going, all of these beautiful people communicating with one another, people advertising themselves, showcasing their work, right?

But when you record your five minute podcast, the audience will hear you and your guests. And on top of that, the camera is only going to focus on you. The end product looks like one of those really cool movies that you see where there's all this going on in the background, but the focus is only on the stars on screen. Imagine doing a short podcast with the top budget for production.

So the quality is unmatched. Even if you don't feel cute, that camera gonna make you look good. Okay? I looked at mine and said, hop on this one, man. So if you ever thought about starting a podcast or sharing your voice or simply wanting to create something with friends and family for y'all to look back on years from now, let this be your sign, girl. Your story deserves to be heard.

So girl, go follow Co Space or visit Co Space when you're in Miami Gardens. It has a podcast studio. And what I like is it's a very beautifully refreshing space where you can co-work. Sometimes you get the opportunity to network with other people that you're co-working with. You can work remotely there. Use this space as a venue if you want.

I've seen people turn this place into an area where they had an entire fashion show here.

So the options are endless. definitely, y'all, if I could suggest them a thousand times, I totally would.

But let me tell y'all about another event. Well, before I tell y'all about another event, let's start with this. The amount of events and people I was able to experience within the last week was incredible. A little overstimulating, but in a beautiful way, okay? There were people everywhere. People love to say, Miami has a lot of people. Well, guess what? The city have reached its capacity.

Over the last week. Okay, so now I can tell you about another event

But now can tell you about another event that truly left an impression. So I went to one art gallery in Wynwood.

Dom Nicole (15:22)
Okay, so now let me tell you about another event that left a huge impression on me. I went to one art gallery in Wynwood. It's called Muse-Zium, meaning muse like M-U-S-E, capital Z, E-U-M. And y'all, the paintings there had stereos in them. Okay, so real stereos playing music you control.

while depicting some of your favorite artists. Like, they sure had some of my favorite artists. They had Betty Wright on the wall. They had D'Angelo. They had Slick Rigg. Y'all, it was...

It was a full sensory experience. And what I liked was as I waited until the museum cleared out, which took forever, which is completely understandable. And as I walked around, as I stared at certain paintings, the artist would change it to where the music is coming from the painting that I was looking at. Okay? Have you ever seen art that you could hear? I mean, literally hear it.

If not, y'all, promise you, put this on your bucket list, you will not regret it, okay? It's gonna give you a lot of nostalgia. I mean, y'all, I can't. I can't. I can't suggest it enough. Ooh, and y'all, let me tell y'all. So I ended up at a private event at Dante's Hi-Fi in Wynwood and...

It was really, really, it was a photographer there. He is doing an entire expose surrounding the theme of Belly, the hood classic movie Belly. So he had all of these blue lights. So you walk down the hall, this long hallway just to get to Dante's. And as as you walk in, to the right of you is all of these blue lights. And he's taking photos of you.

For free I might add, just for you to be a part of his future expose, right? That's centered around Belly. That just blew my mind, okay? That used to be my movie. So I was like, okay, this is cool. Then we're rocking out, the music is blaring. And then y'all, I find out that they only play music, the DJs there only play music from vinyls.

real vinyl. I'm talking about the old school giant circle CD disc things that people put. Y'all, it was nice. Everybody was just rocking out, jamming, and I liked it because that was the outside experience and it was free and it was a wide array of different types of people, predominantly Black.

but different types of the black experience that we were able to experience, which was just...

It felt warm. That's what it felt like. The best way to put it is that it felt warm.

And then we transitioned to us going into the private event, which was actually inside the venue where when you walk in, you walk, there is this giant wall from floor to ceiling that has nothing but vinyls on it. It seemed like they have every song that was ever put on record is in his collection. OK. And guess who was DJing y'all? DJ Spinderella.

Yep, I said it. Let me repeat it. DJ Spinderella, okay? The vibes was there. The celebrities were there and a time was had, okay? I couldn't wait to tell my mom because we've been rocking out with DJ Spinderella my entire life.

Okay, when I tell y'all I slept so good, by the time I finally got home around five o'clock in the morning, y'all, it was the best week because the night was just, it was a fun night.

and the beauty of seeing so many Black creatives showcasing their brilliance reminded me of the power of our stories and how essential it is for us to take up space unapologetically. It's a lesson we can all take into the new year. Own your narrative. Express yourself boldly. Because Art Basel wasn't just about the art for me. It was about the stories, the resilience, and the beauty of our culture.

It reminded me how much we as a people have to celebrate, preserve, and share. I met one artist, when I think of his name, it's gonna come to me before this episode is over. He drove, he's a fashion designer, and they drove from Virginia, I believe they said. They drove from Virginia all the way to Miami. And what they did was they pulled up

and they rented a U-Haul truck, they parked it and created an entire experience inside of this U-Haul truck that showcased this artist's work.

When I tell you his pieces were unique and captivating, think of it as very trendy streetwear.

Dom Nicole (20:51)
That's the name Blue Bing. my goodness, Blue Bing. That is the name. It's B-L-E-U, Being. Y'all, when I tell y'all, I'm so glad I remembered it. It is Blue Being.

Dom Nicole (21:07)
It was so trendy, my friend who I was with, who's a really dope poet,

He ended up buying one of the cardigans that I'm probably gonna try to take from him. But hey, don't tell him I said it.

But seeing the tenacity that that artist had to make sure that his work was showcased, it really spoke to us being able to claim our identity, right? And it made me think about how we as individuals, we have to reclaim ourselves after life's challenges. We have to reclaim ourselves in the midst of going after our dreams.

We create the narrative. We have the power to create our narratives, reclaim our narratives, and not let anything stop us. Think about it. We are in the middle of winter. We are in December right now. Everywhere up north is cold as heck, if not snowing.

it's 70 degrees out in the middle of the night and all of us have on jackets and boots because us Miami Natives are freezing, right?

Think about how powerful that is, not letting anything stop us

He wanted to have his work showcased at Art Basel. Guess what? He did it. They parked somewhere and they had it and they were parked right off of the strip, right off of the main strip of Wynwood. So a lot of people saw their work and they were buying their work as well.

It was just beautiful to see. And it really had me thinking about some of the lessons that I learned in 2024. I'm convinced that our lives have key things every year. Like one of my things this year was embracing change. Because quite frankly, change is hard. Let's be real. It can be messy, heartbreaking.

overwhelming but let me tell you it can also be the most powerful gift you'll ever receive.

Owning my narrative was something I had to learn to do this season. I was never the type to be ashamed of my experiences, but these last two years where my world was flipped around and I had to muster the strength to flip my life right side up and get rid of broken pieces, replace certain items and start anew, including coming back to South Florida from Houston, I had to own my narrative and not let it own me.

This includes enjoying the journey of moving on, understanding that some hurtful things will wander into my mind and get me down from time to time. It is what it is. And getting me to this current version of myself. Because experiences like these remind me how important it is to show up for ourselves and our communities. Every event, every conversation, every piece of art,

taught me something new about the beauty of resilience of our people. And as we move into this new year, I want all of us to carry that energy forward. It's taught me about resilience and adaptability to the max. I'm so proud of me and empowered by me. When I look back on my journey of coming back home and what got me here, I feel like it was time for something to change.

I didn't expect for that change to be divorce, getting rid of assets, a couple of deaths, people-wise and metaphorically, losing two best friends, and quite frankly, pivoting from the lifestyle I dreamed of as a little girl. Because if I'm being real with myself, I had the life I dreamed of as a child.

and I'm currently working towards the life I dream of as a grown woman. I would have been cool with my little girl dreams, but clearly that wasn't in the cards for me. And something, someone, God, or maybe deep down even myself was like, let's shake the tables a little bit and knock her off the Empire State Building. So if you've ever felt stuck in uncertainty,

whether it's in a relationship, a job, a season of life. You know how draining it can be.

But even when things feel uncertain, we have the ability to create positive environments for ourselves and for our loved ones. Let's be real, uncertainty can drive us mad. I was uncertain during one of my pregnancies due to a previous miscarriage I had, where I didn't know I was pregnant until I miscarried. And it took a toll on me that whole pregnancy. And I was paranoid and scared.

Going through a divorce, dividing and selling assets, waiting for lawyers and the court system, that leaves a lot of uncertainty throughout that process. And some divorces take years to complete. And the uncertainty during that time can feel overwhelming. Uncertainty can be nerve-racking, but I have slowly learned to focus on what I have control over, not what I don't have control over.

So I actually remember when I decided not to put my life on hold due to uncertainties. Even if that meant I had to leave it all behind and start at zero. I have a strong and positive support system and that makes me come at home way more sweet than bitter. And I'm grateful for that because I didn't ask for this fresh start, but.

Let me tell you, I'm excited for me and my kids now. Okay? Sometimes starting over isn't just a reset. It's a gift. It's a gift. And that's the gift that I'm focusing on this holiday season. From launching my podcast to building our community, I've learned that every small step counts. And let me tell you, celebrating those wins,

No matter how tiny they are has been my secret weapon for staying motivated. Sometimes we think process has to look big and flashy, but it's those small, quiet steps that build the foundation for something incredible. So celebrate those moments because they matter. Every little step I take. Hey, guess what? It all matters. Every step matters, okay?

Starting over isn't easy, but it's an opportunity to build a life that aligns with who you are now. And let me tell you, I'm proud of you. And just how I'm proud of you, I'm proud of this version of me. So to anyone listening who's in the middle of their own fresh start, I see you. I'm rooting for you. And I hope you're rooting for yourself as much as I'm rooting for you.

And as we step into the new year, it's important for us to understand how we have to let go of this idea or notion of perfectionism. The first time I sat down to record this podcast, I wasn't sure if anybody would listen. Well, I knew my mama and some of my core family members. I knew they would listen.

But I wasn't sure anyone else would listen. But I reminded myself that this is a part of my journey and it deserves to be told. And now seeing how far we've come, I know it was worth it. Starting this podcast has been a master class in letting go of perfectionism and embracing progress over perfection. I released an episode every Tuesday. Well,

except for the week of my best friend's heavenly birthday and the anniversary of her passing. And you know what? That's okay. Life happens. But I'm remaining tenacious and focused. And it's taught me to focus on my consistency and really show up for what matters. How often do we sit on an idea telling ourselves, I'll do it later or, I'm so sleepy. I'm just going on sleep.

But guess what? Not this time. I decided to approach this podcast with the discipline of an athlete, or in my case, a band geek. Rain, cold, scorching heat, it didn't stop us from practicing back in the day. And it doesn't stop me now. During my honorary rattler days at FAMU, I saw my friends and family members in the Marching 100 practicing day in and day out.

mastering their craft in any condition, whether they were practicing by themselves, so that way they can master their instrument, practicing in sectionals, or as a collective with the rest of the band.

And that was so inspirational to see. And that's how I feel about this podcast. For a girl come sit with me, a passion has awakened in me.

I love the impact it has the potential to create. This has been my personal glow up. It's pushed me to be more introspective, more intentional for sure, and more at peace with where I am right now. So if you're facing a fresh start, know that it's okay to feel scared. In the words of La La, do it scared.

Okay, but trust me, there's something beautiful waiting for you on the other side.

Creating this podcast has required me to dig deep and to revisit memories and see them through a new lens. I've had the question why certain moments became core memories and confront truths I didn't really realize were shaping me per se.

For instance, I've always considered myself a trusting person, but part of that stems from a deep desire to trust certain people fully My dad, for example.

He would always tell me he was coming home from college. For those of you, if you know, you know. But if you're new to Girl, come sit with me. College is code for prison, okay? And after hearing him repeatedly tell me that he's coming home soon for over a decade, I learned to compartmentalize.

I admired him as a daughter admires her dad, but I stopped trusting that one promise.

So I found myself.

trusting and loving every part of my dad, despite my disdain for him repeatedly telling me he was coming home soon. And it felt as though that soon would just never come.

So.

I would still trust him. I just couldn't trust that one line. Y'all it, ugh. I could just feel the heat rising in me every time he said it. And then it got to a point where it just started transferring to other people. So I just didn't like when anyone said it, including him. But I still was able to compartmentalize that disdain and find a way to trust them because I.

I'm always looking for aspects of people to trust, if that makes sense. And through this podcast, I started unraveling how experiences like those shaped me, not just the pain, but the resilience and the capacity for hope that it built within me. So if girl come sit with me has touched you in any way, please leave a rating or a review.

Your feedback means the world to me and it helps others join the community of growth and healing and self discovery and getting to a point of thriving in your authenticity.

If you enjoyed this podcast or if it has evoked anything within you, please leave a review or a rating on the platform that you're utilizing at this very moment. Reflecting on these experiences has given me a deeper understanding of the dynamics that shape our relationships through unraveling my own journey.

I've discovered how important it is to nurture relationships with ourselves before we can fully engage with others. This year, I've also learned that relationships thrive when we honor our own needs while respecting others. So this means that it's about setting boundaries, building genuine connections, and navigating the grief that comes with loss in any type of form.

If you're struggling with boundaries, check out episode eight. Or if grief feels heavy to you, go check out episode three of season one.

Now as we step into the new year, I challenge you. What's one lesson you're taking with you?

I want you to write down one lesson that you're taking with you and keep it close because it's a part of your growth story. For me, it's remember, but don't go back, not mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. Growth is forward motion and I'm embracing that with open arms, okay?

So y'all let's get into looking ahead to season two. Okay, because season two is going to be bigger and better. We'll be bringing on amazing guests who are gonna share their journeys of growth, healing and transformation. And I'm especially excited to welcome incredible women to the platform. But we'll also dedicate a month to hearing from the men in our lives too.

because their perspectives matter as well. So if you know someone with a powerful story or if that someone is you, reach out. Let's continue building this girl, come sit with me community together. And girl, if you haven't caught up on season one yet, now is the perfect time. Take advantage of the break between seasons, survive.

to dive into episodes you may have missed. If you need a growth mindset, episode seven is waiting on you. If you're trying to embrace vulnerability, episode one got you covered. If you're trying to navigate divorce or single motherhood, episode eight is going to get the job done. It's gonna resonate with you.

remember it's okay to set boundaries. It's okay to say no, and it's okay to choose joy over obligation. Let's go into 2025 focusing on what truly matters, whether that's self-love, family,

Or finally starting that passion project you've been putting on for a while. Yep, I'm talking to you. So let's Savor the little things, nurture those connections, because sometimes it's not what you know, it's who you know. And let's practice gratitude, okay?

let's leave behind what no longer serves us because, hey, we're allergic and fully embrace the versions of ourselves we are becoming. Growth is a journey and every step forward counts, okay? this podcast wouldn't be here without you, So thank you for listening, sharing and supporting. Girl, come sit with me throughout season one.

You made this space a beautiful, empowering community, and I am endlessly grateful. So as we step into 2025, remember this, you are strong. You are worthy. You deserve every ounce of joy this world has to offer. I can't wait to grow with you in season two. So until then, take care, stay radiant, and know that you are deeply appreciated.

So girl, see you next season.