Welcome to Finding Joy in the Little Things: How Small Moments Can Change Your Life

Ever feel like life is rushing by, leaving you too busy to savor the little moments? In this heartwarming episode of Girl, Come Sit With Me, we take a deep breath and hit pause to rediscover the joy hiding in everyday life. 

Dom shares tender and relatable moments—like watching her children sleep and laughing at their dreams—while offering insights on how gratitude and presence can transform even the simplest experiences into something extraordinary. Whether you're a busy parent, a career-driven woman, or just someone trying to find peace amidst the chaos, this episode is your reminder to slow down and appreciate the beauty around you. Listen in for a feel-good conversation that will uplift your spirit and help you see life’s small wonders in a whole new way.

Join us for a candid, uplifting conversation about finding happiness in the here and now—you’ll be surprised at how transformative the little things can be!

Transcript

A 2016 study from the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who focused on everyday positive events like having dinner time with your family or getting reassured by a friend ended up feeling more positive emotions throughout their day. It can be the warmth of a hug, the sound of others laughing, or smiling strangers like myself smiling at you as I walk by.

quickly adapt to good things, which can desensitize us from appreciating small things over time, like the concept of taking things for granted.

I used to hear that saying time and time again and I automatically assumed that that would be someone who takes things for granted. So I would assume that that person was taking things for granted is unappreciative. But what if that quote unquote person that takes things for granted is simply not present enough in their life to even appreciate the little things. We can be busy and get so wrapped up in our lives to where we overlook things.

and don't necessarily acknowledge things, people, places that we know will always be there. It's kind of like the concept of you may hear some women in relationships, they may complain about to their spouse saying, hey, you know, it's like I get the worst of you. But when you go to work, you're giving your job the best of you. Even if you have to work with that annoying coworker that you do.

not like, they have the luxury of getting the best of you. When you're out and about with your friends, since you don't see your friends on a day-to-day basis, they have the luxury of getting the best of you. When you're presenting yourself out to the world, you want that world to perceive you in a specific way. So guess what? They get the option of getting the best of you.

But when you come home to me, your old lady, your wife, your girlfriend, me, when you come home to me, I end up getting the worst parts of you. You end up showing your frustrations or you end up projecting your frustrations to me. Is that fair to me? No.

What is a coping mechanism that people naturally do sometimes? Project. So they're going to project their feelings onto a less threatening target. If they know you're always going to be there, they know they can say whatever they want to you, and you're still going to be there. You're still going to stay no matter what.

then there's no fear of losing you because they know your love is unconditional and they can just treat you however they want. We hear that time and time again. Guess what? It's like they're taking for granted who is always there for you. And you're like, hey man, I need you to appreciate me. Appreciate me. Let me get the best side of you just like the rest of the world gets the best side of you.

sometimes we end up not giving the best of ourselves to the individuals that we know are always going to be there or not necessarily as appreciative of them because they're always there.

It's the same thing with the little things and the ordinary things of life. We are simply going to just overlook them because they're always there. It's like the sky. When was the last time you genuinely looked at the sky?

When was the last time you looked at the sky or you looked at the clouds to see if there were any shapes? Maybe you found a cloud shaped like, I don't know, Beyonce or something. Maybe you found that. But when was the last time you actually noticed the cloud? We're not including the moments where you're like, it's about to rain. No.

When was the last time you looked at that? Or when was the last time you had the opportunity to really notice the trees or notice that the seasons are changing? Or matter of fact, we'll take it into something smaller. When was the last time you got in your car and was like, I forgot I filled up my tank. I'm in a rush right now.

I should be grateful that I thought about filling up my tank earlier or yesterday instead of me.

filling up tank yesterday instead of me rushing and having to be even more late because I didn't fill up my tank. It's the little things. When you got it, if you have a car, when you got inside your car today, you had your keys.

That's a little thing that's very ordinary for us to be grateful for. Walk outside with your shoes off. Appreciate nature, the grass, things that we see on a day-to-day basis that we don't pay any attention to at all. Now, the goal is to increase our life satisfaction.

And the truth is, we can do it. It's something that's very possible.

if this episode pops into your mind randomly at any given moment, I really would like for you to stop in that moment and really look around. Take notice of what you're doing, who you're with, what's going on around you.

There's so many things happening around us at once, but we find this magical way of just overlooking all of it because we're focused on, we may be focused on the big picture or maybe we're focused on things that we have to do later, right? We're focusing on all these big things.

But sometimes when we're focusing on those, the focus ends up being held in worry. Do you know what I mean? Like we're worrying about what has to get done next, or there may be anxiety about.

the time that it is right now, knowing that you still have 10 more things left to do before you can even think about heading home or before you can even think about going to bed. It's very easy for us to just keep going. But I'm here to tell you it's okay to take a moment to breathe and look around.

Sometimes when we take those really cool pauses, we end up discovering things that we may not want to know. We've all heard the saying, ignorance is bliss. It's bliss short term, not necessarily long term. Sometimes when we take those pauses to really assess where we are in life.

what's going on with us in the present moment. It allows us to see who is for us and who's not for us. You may be missing those envious looks that someone who you thought was in your circle is giving you. because of your tunnel vision or because we're naturally focused on the bigger picture.

Why do you think people always say, sometimes it's easier for someone on the outside looking in to notice certain things for us that we don't see because we're too deep into it?

That is a real thing.

So let's switch gears to focusing on being present because technically that's going to help us with standing in gratitude and is really going to allow us to find the joy in little things. So being present is the first step to finding joy.

In the simple things, when you are fully present, I mean, fully and wholeheartedly living in a moment, you're hiding your awareness of everything around you. We cannot appreciate what we do not see. How can I appreciate something I am not aware of? There is a heavy correlation between present and finding joy in simple things.

I have always been the type of person to daydream or zone out, as some of you may call it. I would do it so often and for so long, I would get stuck in my zone. And it would take a lot to get me out of it. So much so that growing up, my closest friends knew.

in order to get me out of it, they would have to say certain names or certain phrases like PlayStation, y'all, my brain, the way it works. I have random things that pop into my mind and PlayStation. don't know if any of you all remember the old school one. When it was start, you were here. PlayStation.

They would have to say that to get me out of my zone and bring me back to reality. Or they would have to trick me and be like, ooh, is that public's cake? For whatever reason, certain words, certain phrases that resonate with me specifically were the only things that could get me back to reality. Somebody could be snapping their fingers in my face, and I'm just, I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a whole nother world right now.

And that's not gonna work. may, what is it, wave their hands in front of my eyes and you can visibly see through my eyes that I am not there. I'm not there with y'all. I'm really not.

And through therapy and my studies, I understand that it was my coping mechanism from several things, including avoiding feelings of loneliness, avoiding any negative emotions about my dad being in college for so long.

and to give myself a breather sometimes from whatever responsibilities I had. By the time I got to my senior year of high school, was head drum major of the band, which meant I was pretty much over about 150 students. I was a debutante. I was still recovering from the loss of my beautiful close friend, Jessica. And I was still waiting for my dad to graduate from his college bid.

And y'all there was so many things going on. So where during that time I was zoned out and just be physically present but not consciously present at times. It gave me time when I was on now it gave me time to dream bigger.

And then on times where I didn't want to dream bigger, well, most of the time, it just allowed me to quiet my mind.

just allow me to simply hush all of the noise, all of my thoughts, and just go to a different place. And I was doing this as a little kid. But think about it. I still do it as an adult. With my first child,

My first son, well, all of my births were natural births. No medication, anything of that sort. Had a midwife, doula. We can get into all that later, but...

With my first son, y'all, the... I don't like using the word pain when I describe labor. So we'll say it was so intense to where I zoned out. My best friend was there with me. I had my main tribe with me. And when we talked about it later...

She was just describing it like, girl, you would clutch the base of the bed or the base of a chair, wherever I was at that time. And she said, I would just zone out in between contractions. She was like, and then I'll come to during the contraction, breathe through it. And then she said, I would just zone right back out. Like they couldn't get through to me or anything.

And in moments where they had to question how I was doing, things like that, they literally had to stoop down in front of me, make eye contact, make their eyes lock eyes with mine in order to bring me back to that moment so I can answer whatever questions they may have had. I was just zoning out. That is my coping mechanism.

And I knew growing up that I did this way more than I should have. It is something I used to wish I didn't do as much. But now as a full grown woman who no longer has the leisure to do it.

Or maybe I should challenge myself to do it more often again. Like sit down and daydream or zone out and allow myself the freedom to disassociate. Because I really used to be a pro at it. As someone who doesn't have time to do that anymore, it really...

reminds me to appreciate being able to be a child during my childhood. I have so many responsibilities right now, just like the rest of you all. All of us have so many responsibilities, just as adults, whether you have children or you don't, whether you're single or you're not. We have so many responsibilities where we...

we don't necessarily have the leisure or at least as much leisure as we would like to quiet our mind. And I feel as though it's very important for us to make time to quiet our mind. Now, I don't suggest that you disassociate as you do that because of the pros and cons of disassociating.

I do not suggest we do that aspect of it, but I do suggest that we continue to practice our mindfulness and our ability to be present in as many moments as we can, right? Because...

When I wasn't daydreaming or zoning out when I was younger, when I was present, y'all, I was present, okay? And it would take a lot to get me down because since I zoned so much, I would just kind of step out of my body so much. The moments where I was fully conscious of everything that's going on around me and noticing everything, I couldn't help but just be grateful for those moments.

even when it's just those small moments like someone asking me, hey, are you okay today? Or sometimes people wouldn't know how to approach me. So they would approach one of my best friends and be like, hey, Dom seems a little off today. Is she all right? And of course my best friends always tell me, girl, somebody checked on you. This person checked on you, whatever.

And it's those little things that just means a lot. so one little thing just popped into my head. A little ordinary thing that I appreciate when people do is if you notice someone breath stinks and you offer them a gum, guess what?

That's a beautiful moment right there. sounds a little comical but that is a powerful moment there too. Because instead of me embarrassing you saying, hey yo, your breath stink. Your breath smell like stinky feet or something like that. I am just simply going to offer you some gum.

not going to embarrass you, just going to look out. Or that person that fixes the tag that may be sticking out in the back of your shirt. It's those moments that we barely pay attention to that offer us reminders to just be grateful. There's so much beauty in life.

and think about it. To be present.

You must allow yourself to emerge yourself in this life experience with no judgment and no distractions. Focusing on the now instead of worrying about the past or having anxiety about the future. When we do this, our senses sharpen. Have you ever been on a road trip and stared at the sky and the trees passing you by and thought, wow, this is beautiful?

almost as if you try to stare at it long enough to where you can grab hold of it and take that moment with you forever. Or, dang, the broke is so vibrantly colorful. Or have you, many of you, if you live by the beach, if you've been to the beach, you may understand this moment. Being born and raised in Miami,

I would go to the beach all the time. So have you ever walked on the sand and you felt the sand between your toes? Whether the sand was scorching hot that day or regular temperature? Or you smelled the salt from the sea? And while you're feeling the sand between your toes,

while you're smelling the salt from the sea, while you're staring at the ocean's horizon meeting the sky with a kiss, while hearing the birds chirping, while tasting the amazement of that particular moment.

As all of that comes together, guess what? For you to even notice all these things from your senses simultaneously, that lets you know that you were present in that moment. You were taken in the joy and the warmth of that moment, appreciating it. Imagine experiencing this without your phone in your hand.

without distractions, just allowing yourself to see the beauty in every moment.

Now, it's important to know that presence fuels gratitude and gratitude deepens presence. So while being present,

you're more likely to notice the positive aspects of your environment and the positive aspects of your experience. Think about it. In order for us to notice the beauty in ordinary, we must be able to notice ordinary. And in noticing ordinary, then we can appreciate ordinary, which will lead us to being able to experience gratitude related to ordinariness.

Let's think about some ordinary things in our day-to-day lives that we may be used to, but when you just take a moment to allow yourself to be present, it really is something beautiful. For instance, last night I watched my little boy sleep. They were knocked out. My baby boy had climbed in the bed with his big brother.

and they were all over each other. You know how that go with little children. There's a leg here, a leg there, an arm here, an arm there. And the way my toddler is set up, he just likes to completely lay on top of you in a perpendicular way. He doesn't care how awkward it may be. He doesn't care if he's laying on top of your face.

and as funny as it was, I'm just experiencing so much joy and laughter and happiness as I watch them sleep so peacefully. Wild, but peacefully.

It's like this peaceful experience that I was able to be grateful for. I was able to grab a hold of it. Thinking about it, when I really examined that moment, even though such a small moment, I did watch them for a while, I'll be honest. But it was still a rather simple moment.

And it reminded me like, hey, I know that I'm providing my children with a safe environment, a loving environment, a fun environment where they feel seen, where they feel as though their opinion matters. They know that their opinion matters, thus allowing them to go into a deep sleep when they sleep because they're comfortable that they don't have any worries. And if so, the words are rather simple and it usually appears when they

tell me about their dreams later on the next day. So this morning my oldest son was just like mommy I had a dream that I didn't pick up all my Pokemon cards off the floor and you threw away my favorite Pokemon card because I didn't see it when I was putting it away with the rest of the cards. The fact that

That is my oldest son's worry. So much so to where it pops up in his dream reminds me that I'm doing something right. Even though parenting does not come with a handbook, even though both of my children are completely different. Think about children, even when they're siblings, sometimes their personalities are different. You have to cater to one in this particular way, cater to the other one in another way.

But even with that, even with the doubts that may naturally come with, am I doing this right? Is this going to be a moment that's going to damage my child forever simply because I was like, hey, do this. Please stop before you hurt yourself, right? What if they're just like, you know, that tone of voice, you know, it just scarred me for life when they get older.

random things like that popped into my mind. And I know I'm not the only one, but the fact that that was his concern was just like, good job, Dom. Clearly, you're doing something right. Keep it up, OK? Keep it up.

So as I take time to reflect on and appreciate these little joys, I am strengthening my ability to remain grounded and live more fully in the here and now, not tomorrow, not yesterday, but the here and now. And it's those moments of gratefulness.

That reminds me that I am being present in that moment because gratitude is going to continuously bring us back to the present over and over and over again.

In doing so, I am also minimizing my stress and my anxiety simply because if I'm focusing on my surroundings, those around me and these beautiful moments that I'm currently living, then I will not have space for me to focus on what's lacking, what I'm missing, problematic thoughts or...

worried about being judged and the list goes on and on. So is this that's going to build my emotional resilience and enhance my overall well-being as I continue this journey through life?

So imagine you're walking through your neighborhood on a regular evening and instead of rushing, you decide to take your time to notice the colors of the sunset. And as you're admiring those colors that you typically only glance at day to day, you notice a vibrant rainbow. I mean, the colors in this rainbow are strong as heck. As you look...

at the rainbow you also hear birds chirping and then you look down towards some bushes and you see a butterfly.

In that moment, something so ordinary has just become extraordinary because you allowed yourself to be present enough to experience it.

I recently, and by recently I mean as I was dropping my boys off to school and daycare, the sweetest thing happened and it was so small. But I just looked, I felt eyes on me. Mind you, it's early in the morning you all. I just felt eyes on me.

So when I looked through my rear view mirror, I noticed that both of my boys were just staring at me. Just staring at their mom.

And it was just so impactful. Like, wow.

I'm so important to them. Wow. They depend on me. I can screw them up for life or I can set them up for success. But even with us doing what we usually do, me dropping them to school, telling them have a nice day, y'all, or me asking them what kind of day are we going to have?

I started doing that with my oldest and my youngest just even before he could talk, he would be trying to say good day. So now that he's talking, he has it mastered. My toddler is like, good day. And it is the sweetest and most simple thing. So simple. Another simple thing is as I'm recording this, there are these flowers.

I don't even know if they're real, if they're made out of wood. I don't know. All I know is that they're really beautiful.

And I'm choosing to remind myself that I can also be the epitome of beauty just like these flowers are. I'm reminding myself that I can be the simple thing in a room that can change the aura and the energy in a room for the better.

I'm choosing these things. It's an active choice. Now, real talk, finding joy in the little moments is not always easy. Depending on where you are in the world, life can move rather quickly, especially for those who may stay in the city or stay in a town where everyone is constantly on the go. It does not take much for life to slip and pass us by.

We're trying to pay bills, take care of responsibilities, make sure that we're looking good, keeping up with the news and current events, trying to keep up with loved ones, exercising, trying to have a healthy diet, trying to make sure everything I'm wearing is not wrinkled, and so much more. And we're doing all of this.

a lot of times without taking time to pause and reflect.

A great example of this would be funerals. Funerals have this beautiful way of forcing people to take time to pause and reflect. It forces them to reminisce, which is probably why at funerals you'll hear, you'll oftentimes hear the family members say to one another, hey, we need to get together more often and spend more time together.

But in reality, what ends up happening later? A couple weeks later after the funeral, everyone is back to their day to day program, rushing through life, not taking those moments to pause and breathe and enjoy the journey. So we should remember to slow down.

and experience what we're going through right now. If you have not reached your dream or a big goal you may have, it's okay. Keep going. Keep focusing on that goal. But remember to appreciate the climb. There's a reason in a lot of interviews we hear people mentioning how they miss the climb of it.

So be present in the journey so you can enjoy reaching your goal or your dream. Okay. So many little things go unnoticed when we're moving too quickly. Now, how many times has someone expressed themselves to you and you've asked yourself, why did I not notice that? Now you may not have noticed that for several reasons.

And one of those reasons could potentially be something as simple as not slowing down to appreciate these moments of joy, appreciate these pockets of happiness. Instead of rushing through your morning routine.

Take your time and find an extra moment to eat your breakfast a little slower than usual or sip your tea instead of gulping it, right? Feel the warmth of the tea entering between your lips and going down. My best friend, Dominique, was the epitome of slowing down and appreciating every single moment.

And her short life, she was able to teach me how to slow these joyful moments down so that way they last longer and I can feel them deeper. We would be heading somewhere and I'll be like, okay, I'll be rushing because I don't like being late. I'm allergic and she'll just be taking her time.

could have gotten dressed, got ready, headed to her house early just so I can kind of give her a little nudge to move a little faster. And she'll just be like, okay. As soon as I get there, okay, I get in the shower now. I'm like, my goodness. Here we go. She's taking her time putting on her cocoa butter. She like cocoa butter and shea butter. She's taking her time mixing those and putting those on.

She's taking her time choosing between jewelry pieces she made and or sometimes we would take pieces from her grandma to wear, right? These vintage pieces or her grandma's Louis Vuitton's that we would always, always take to wear sneak and take, but whatever. She would just take her sweet time.

And I remember for years, I could not understand why, but I just respected it because she was my best friend. I just accepted it. That's her. It is what it is. And eventually, it started to rub off on me. Now I just leave the house a little earlier so that way I don't have to rush.

I like being able to just look around. I like being at a red light and looking around at the cars around me. You may notice someone, I've seen people praying. I've seen people arguing, picking their nose, doing makeup, getting their lives together, looking like they're on the phone, they're fussing somebody out or dancing, jamming the music. And I would have never

notice those funny moments that picked my mood up without those strangers even realizing it. If I wasn't the type of person to just take a breather, if I haven't grown into the person to understand the importance of taking a breather, looking around you sometimes. And I really...

appreciate my best friend for that. I really, really do because in doing that with her teaching me to do that through observation, sometimes she'll just tell me, what's the rush? What's the rush? We will go and park in the Krispy Krenz parking lot and we'll be done. Scrapped up all the chains from her car. And this is during college, broke college student days.

just so we can get two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. She'll have a box, I'll have a box. And we would just sit there and muck that box. You hear me? It would be annihilated. Mind you, we're only so big. I'm thick, but we only so big. Like literally, like the size of this pinky is our size, was our size at that time. And we would just, y'all, it would be done.

it would be done. Okay. And we can have somewhere we're supposed to be, but it's like, you know, we're just going to enjoy this moment. Allow our taste buds, the euphoria and the ecstasy that we would feel just by eating those Krispy Kreme donuts, sitting in her car listening to Eric Abadue or Jill Scott or her favorite, Lauryn Hill. Okay.

She helped me gain a sense of fulfillment and contentment simply by being more grateful for the day-to-day experience of life. Presence is what heightens awareness of small pleasures, while gratitude for those pleasures is what's going to help you stay grounded in the present.

And that is the end goal, to be grounded, to understand who you are, know who you are.

appreciate who you are. Granted, if there's things you want to change, change it. But don't be so focused on changing yourselves or so focused on self-improvement to where you forget to look around and see that there's a whole world out there that can be your oyster for the taking.

But you have to be appreciative of those small moments. It's the simple things.

Anywho, thank you so much for tuning in to Girl Come Sit With Me. Today, we focused on finding joy in the little things. I hope you remember to be more present, to allow yourself to take a moment, take a beat. Inhale, exhale.

look around and be appreciative for the moment that you have right now with the people that you have right now with the things that you have right now it's all a gift

that's been given to you for a reason. How are you gonna use it?